Gert and Evidia worship at the Free Independent Lancastrian Church of the Holy Spike, Lancashire.
The pastor is Mr Preacher-Man and he is assisted by his wife in pastoral duties such as beating the peasants.
Sunday service times are as follows:
2am Preaching Service
3.30am Punishment Service (for those who missed the 2am)
6am Morning Prayer and Confessional Beatings
9am Parish Worship
12pm Midday Penance
6pm Evening Prayer
9pm Nighttime Smitings
Midweek Services
We have a coffee morning on Tuesdays at 4.30am at which attendence is compulsory and morning prayer every day at 6am which all must attend or face a beating.
We Welcome You
You are welcome to attend all services, but must wear a hat. And not just any hat. A nice hat.
Dress Code
Gert recommends these, the first for the ladies and the second for the gentlemen:
We have a coffee morning on Tuesdays at 4.30am at which attendence is compulsory and morning prayer every day at 6am which all must attend or face a beating.
We Welcome You
You are welcome to attend all services, but must wear a hat. And not just any hat. A nice hat.
Dress Code
Gert recommends these, the first for the ladies and the second for the gentlemen:
We look forward to welcoming you!
